A diplomat’s work is closely linked to the art of writing. It has been calculated that nearly ninety percent of his work consists of writing and sending documents. It is not in vain that the great diplomat, writer, and reformer Harold Nicolson said: "The art of diplomacy is the art of writing.”

I highly doubt that Idi Amin’s obsession with litters was a national tradition in Uganda. His behavior was a result of a sick mind. But all experienced diplomats know that one has to be careful with even the most elementary traditions.

There is a widespread opinion that diplomats, despite being decent and, to a certain extent, proud, and cool-headed people, betray their own principles when serving their country’s interests. That’s a good trait. However what I will tell now seems to break the norms of morality and casts a shadow on diplomatic dignity and authority. I wish to write here about one of the most bloodthirsty dictators of the last century: President Idi Amin of Uganda.

It is nearly impossible to find a sphere in social life where figurative speech plays as an important role as it does in diplomacy. Metaphors, allusions, and indirect remarks often bring more realistic results in diplomatic relations than actual negotiations do. This is why experienced politicians and diplomats use Aesopic language, reference the Bible, folklore, and classical literature, as well as borrow foreign, especially Latin, phrases.

Arriving in Paris, Peter the Great kneeled in front of the statue of cardinal Armand de Richelieu and uttered, "If you were alive, I would give you half of my empire so that you could show me how to rule the other half.” These are the words of one of the most powerful men of his time. And there was a reason why he said them.

Could the world-renowned singer Plácido Domingo have known that his only concert in Armenia in 2010 would have political consequences for that country? It is very unlikely. The idea couldn’t have crossed the minds of the organizers either. And how could the Armenian President Serge Sargsyan’s young officials have known that the usual protocol during that fatal concert was going to lead to a scandal and inner political conflict?

If ambassadors who arrived in ancient Athens or Rome had to live in conditions that would be described as terrible and anti-sanitary today, feeling uncertain of the success of their mission, their counterparts in the Renaissance period had to undergo other kinds of trials. It took weeks and months for the sides to negotiate the details of the protocol. They would discuss how the king should conduct himself when receiving the foreign ambassador. Should the ruler step down from his throne or should he signal with his foot when receiving the credentials? Should the ruler invite the ambassador to sit down for at least a minute? And when should the ambassador take off his hat? Or, if he speaks in Latin, in which language should the king reply? And a thousand such questions.

Had the official known the thorny road that diplomatic protocol has passed before reaching us and the challenges that it often faces today, he probably would have spared Patrick and wouldn’t want to see him in the position of the chief of protocol.

One day an influential state representative, who was also in charge of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, calls one of the deputy ministers. "Are you going to create an Office of Protocol?” he asks.

Diplomacy, among other spheres, is closely linked to military procedure. At first it might seem that they have nothing in common: one symbolizes peacemaking, while the other war. And yet, the link exists and diplomacy uses it, to a large extent, for its own goals.

Faced with danger, the Macedonians promise to comply with the demands of the Persians. King Amyntas invites the Persian ambassadors to a lavish dinner. The law of hospitality was one of the most respected traditions in all the cities of Hellada, just as here in the East. The guest had a divine right and was treated with great dignity.

The Greek-Persian diplomacy came to a final standstill. In fact, the Persian side didn’t even intend to maintain a friendly relationship. Persia related to Greece from the position of power. And when weapons are clashing, diplomats keep silent.

Xerxes’ cruelty knew no nationality. He did the same with his own men. Retreating from Athens, the king sailed to Asia on a Phoenician ship.

In ancient Greece, the mechanism of ambassadorial accountability was one of the links in the system of state supervision, balance check, and protection of citizens’ rights. Many developed countries with their institutions for human rights protection would envy that system today. The measure of punishment known as ostracism (ostrakismos, derived from the ostraka, referring to the pottery shards that were used as voting tokens) played a major role in this. They ostracized officials, and naturally ambassadors, too, and it was feared more than the death sentence.

There were many gods in antiquity. One of them, the son of Zeus—Hermes—was the deity presiding over diplomacy and the diplomats. Hermes was a versatile god with many profiles. He was the deity of travel, culture, science, education, trade, herds, athletics, etc. And when people died, Hermes guided them as they made their journey to the underworld—the silent kingdom of Hades. He basically had something like a cemetery and funeral bureau. He presided over dreams and sleep. But all of this was nothing compared to his other responsibilities.

People usually avoid pronouncing the word "prostitution” in a civilized world and they call it the world’s "first oldest profession” for decorum. How old is diplomacy as a profession? There is no doubt that it is one of the oldest professions, which came either before or after prostitution, or around the same time. Maybe it is that proximity that the two professions are unconsciously, sometimes even deliberately, equated, and the diplomats are blamed for deception, fraud, lying, and a thousand other earthly and divine faults.